He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
Just saw a Mexican guy pushing a stroller with 3 twelve packs of corona in it with a toddler struggling to keep up on foot behind him
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
She needs sedatives and a leash
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
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