I masturbated on the webcams with my bf yesterday then typed without washing my hands first... then my roommate used my laptop it was pretty priceless
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
An old man just slapped my ass and handed me five dollars while I was filling chips at subway. I feel violated, but that was the easiest five dollars I've ever made.
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
Randomize
