he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
You've changed since you got that strap on
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
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