More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
My ass is underappreciated
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
I thought accidentally shaving off my fingertip while trying to shave my butthole was going to be the most unexpected part of my day, but no
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
Randomize
