Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
I just saw a bunch of drunk old guys riding on the side of a modified old fire truck yelling at cars and smoking while they looked for parking...promise we will be just like them when we grow up?
I'm craigslisting fire trucks as we speak
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
Randomize
