Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
woke up this morning to find the entire staircase covered in marinara sauce, with my roommate practically sobbing and scrubbing the wall with carpet cleaner.
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
Randomize
