Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
I probably should have told her I was actually the drunkest one there before she let me pierce her ear
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
Randomize
