After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
Randomize
