i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
Randomize
