so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
I just shot gunned a beer for your birthday alone because you're too hungover at midnight to get out of bed. I'm not sure which of us is the bigger loser
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
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