Pregnant stripper...not hot.
i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
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