I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
i just found a cheeto on my floor and ate it. i might still be drunk.
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
Like people our age are getting engaged, and I’m out here spooning with a giant unicorn I bought at Walmart on Black Friday.
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
Randomize
