Banjos are just sex machines. Like lights to moths, banjos are to hipster bitches.
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
The moment when you and your BFF compare frequently used emojis and realize you have similar mental disorders and a really weak alibi.
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
Randomize
