Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
Yeah but I was the kid who ran over your BMW and is banging your 15 year old daughter... There isn't a cool enough dad in the world to make that work.
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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