TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
Randomize
