I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
why im i the only drunk person in the library?
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
Randomize
