Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
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