I am engaged
To a real live girl that has met me
That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
I'm so high I just tried to eat a hair tie thinking it was one of my pretzels.
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
Well... first you killed the girls goldfish, then you shoved her face in your armpit, made her cry, got kicked out, ate your cigarettes, and passed out in her driveway. Pretty successful night if you ask me
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
Randomize
