I will die if light touches me.
I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
Randomize
