After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
Randomize
