Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
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