there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
Randomize
