I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
I woke up to a topless girl handing me a blunt. Candidate for greatest wake-up ever?
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
Randomize
