Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
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