We're facebook friends in real life
I heard some girl say 'yeah he mustve been so drunk he kept mumbling and repeating himself'
And I thought
Fuck I do that shit every weekend
How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
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