I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
Randomize
