he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
She couldn't find her toothbrush so I had to wait while she sucked on the 12 peppermints she found under the couch. Pretty resourceful for her level of intoxication.
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
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