I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
To the person who left a cup of vomit in the bathroom: I commend you for your aim but you are dead to me- not an ideal birthday present.
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
Turns out the creepy dude who bought us tequila shots was the friend of a friend who then got us a table and several large bottles of champagne.
Never judge a man by his mustache.
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
Will exercising make me less horny?
Randomize
