He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
i took some ambien and I TRIPPED out...i went into my mom's room to say goodnight and i don't remember anything...she said that i got really pissed at her because we were living in the Keebler elf tree and she was visiting other trees, then i started laughing hysterically and she goes "whats so funny?" and i go "there are 7 people sitting on my knees" and she goes "doesn't that hurt?" and i said "no we're sitting in a bowl" and then i capped it off and said "join the crazy train bro" and passed out.
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
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