remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
How was dinner with ur grandparents?
I was really blazed and scared they'd catch me, so when they asked about my day I was concentrating really hard on not saying smoking that instead I honestly said "Well, I had sex on your pool table, Nana."
After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
There were midgets. And vodka. If you don't appreciate the awesomeness of that sentence, read it again.
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
Randomize
