I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
"But puppies!" Is not an acceptable excuse for trying to drunkenly steal someone's dog, you promiscuous midget!!
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
Too bad, iambic pentameter is a drunk specialty of mine.
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
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