white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
Breakfast-of-shame with my mother. I was in half of a sexy Mad Hatter costume. We had artisan bagels and judgement.
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
I just used my VA prescription bottle of xanax to get a military discount at the liquor store. I win.
Only you could get away with that.
i need some magic done to my vagina
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