The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
Randomize
