google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
my little sister told my dad she found willy wonka's golden ticket in the backseat of my car. now my dad knows my boyfriend uses magnums.
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
I've Ubered to the bar three times this weekend to get my car but every time I get there I end up drinking. Still no car.
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
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