Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
Dear awkwardly drunk roommate, thanks for stuffing enough change in my clevage that I could afford a pepsi at work today. Sincerely awesome roommate that put up with your drunk ass
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
Randomize
