So I'm going back to my apartment just to get my vibrator.
I thought you were moving in with your boyfriend for the summer?
Well....one will keep me from having to pay rent and the other satisfies. I'll let you figure it out.
just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
Randomize
