just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
you went around the entire night in your french maid costume dusting off the "cob webs" on everyone's crotch saying "you havent gotten any action in a while"
I was wondering why i got so many friend requests the next day...
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
He pulled a kid having a seizure out of a car and stayed with him until the ambulance came.
he what???
Not kidding. My ovaries cannot handle this shit...swear next time he'll rescue a bunch of pound puppies and hand them out to lonely orphans.
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
You know it’s going to be a rough day when you scream “Get fucked” at your alarm clock
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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