I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
Found my new morning breakfast spot. Hospital cafeteria. Nobody asks questions, they just assume shit went downnn
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
Randomize
