I wanted to dispute a few 411 charges on my phone bill. The service rep told me I called them four times asking for Lady Gaga's number.
trust me, there is no more disappointing feeling in the world than waking up at 4 in the morning with a random half naked chick in your bed and then realizing your roommates girlfriend just wandered into the wrong room.
If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
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