The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
Somehow I magically turned down a threesome last night. On my birthday. You're a horrible wingman.
Emergency! LinkedIn connected me to a hotornot hookup from sophomore year... slutty phase sphere has officially invaded grown up professional sphere. My illusions of interweb sexual anonymity have been exploded.
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
do nipples grow back?
Randomize
