I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
Randomize