That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
he shaved USA in his pubs
I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
Just drug him and when he wakes up be like "you just woke up from a coma, we've been married for the past five years." It'll be like the Vow but fucked up.
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize