I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
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