why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
Randomize
