sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
Dude, you screamed I AM THE WALRUS while giving a statue of Ronald McCdonald a lapdance. You were NOT sober.
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