idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
Randomize
