Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
Joe is yelling at the trees again.
i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
Randomize
