He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
Randomize
