is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
My mom is wine drunk and on painkillers. As invigorating as that conversation was, it was also a dark glimpse into my future
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
Randomize
