Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
I just realized that my phone was set to Brazilian time...what the fuck happened last night
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
I shit you not. I was sitting on Brian's balcony...still drunk from the night before, and a hummingbird flew onto the patio, stared me right in the face and flew away. I feel like it was God's way of telling me, "Stop drinking."
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
Randomize
