Me too!
She just asked to stimulate my prostate, man law requires you come pick me up
Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
He just snapchatted me a picture of his cock. The angle makes it look like a freakin skyscraper. Thinking of photoshopping a little monkey on it.
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
Decided to stay sober a couple days, learned how exceptionally stupid my coworkers are. Might have to quit now. Moral of the story:be careful where you go sober.
Randomize
