my mouth tastes like poor choices
Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
Randomize
