I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
I just got a nosebleed on a date at the cheesecake factory...
just run out of the bathroom with blood gushing down your face and scream "ITS IN THE CHEESECAKE!!!!!"
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
Best walk of shame ever. Wearing a bright purple onesie, covered in smudged childrens make up, carrying my shoes and 1/4 sac of goon. I swear every house I walked past had an elderly couple watering their garden just to watch me
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
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