we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
I might have snap chatted him. So here's what I need you to do. Find him. Abduct him. Get his phone. View the chat so he can't. Then, buy him ice cream. He deserves ice cream.
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
Randomize
