I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
if you didn't cry because you couldn't find me and then pee your bed, your wingman status would totally be revoked for leaving me at that party.
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
Note to self: NEVER have sex with anyone who is experiencing explosive diarrhea.
I've never been so happy to be celibate.
Randomize
