By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
He uses pillows to masturbate.
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
Success! We fucked roommates!
Randomize
