I am going to give you the keys to my place
Then I'll give you the keys to my heart
Gag me
Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
Found the puke drawer
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
I have aggressive nipples.
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
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