be a good friend and just tell me i'm not pregnant
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
A woman in the waiting room at the STD clinic told me that she is going to pray to jesus for my penis.
and people in Baltimore still get a bad wrap.
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
Randomize
