i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
We bought a hamster while completely stoned and 2 hours later returned it because your mother wouldnt let you bring it in her house. You cried. a lot.
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
Randomize
