I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
Fuck appropriateness.
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
My life is over. I farted in open court. Noticeably. The judge looked at me. It echoed.
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
You FaceTimed your mom in the back of the limo telling her how many guys you hooked up with at the concert
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
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