This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
Woke up with eyeliner streaked down my face, glitter all over my bed, and holding half-eaten Jimmy Johns. Plus, my whole family's downstairs for Thanksgiving... Welcome to the shitshow that is my early 20s
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
Randomize
