just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
Randomize
