Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(432): View more from Texas

I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?

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(661): View more from California

how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?

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(904): View more from Florida

Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.

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(815): View more from Illinois

Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here

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(715): View more from Wisconsin

I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.

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(831): View more from California

i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila

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(781): View more from Massachusetts

I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again

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(330): View more from Ohio

I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..

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(817): View more from Texas

Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."

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