did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
I just got a text giving me an hour window for when my vibrator is gonna be delivered. If that's not awesome customer service, I don't know what is.
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
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