in retrospect, sexting while high was a mistake - I meant to say "I'll fuck you stupid, baby" but of course I said "I'll fuck your stupid baby"
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
Can I come take down that wallpaper yet? I stopped seeing that dude and I need to occupy my time with something besides getting drunk at bingo night and cussing out old people. Also, i'm not sure on the legal stipulations but I might have, unintentionally, committed grand theft auto at some point.
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
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