who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
a commercial for my antidepressant came on and they said you shouldn't take if if you drink right as i took a shot
god is laughing at you again
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
Yeah when we were together he never sent me dick pics like a normal boyfriend. It was always pizzas. That should've been my sign.
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
Every text my dad sends me is an AA mantra. Might be time to take a look at my life.
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
You told me you were going to invite all of your Tinder matches to the same bar on the same night and make them compete for your affection in a series of Lust Olympics. Winner gets laid.
Randomize